Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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