Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
soo... how was my night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
