I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
