I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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