Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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