No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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