He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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