I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
