I am puke
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
