Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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