I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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