Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
and you fell through a lawn chair