R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.