alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN