And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
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well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub