i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.