WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
