I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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