I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
