If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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