Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
