Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think my vagina is haunted
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
