You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
