Whod you bang
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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