he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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