I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
