Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
