i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
