I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
