p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
