you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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