so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw a hot homeless man
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
