We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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