All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
