just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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