And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
