this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
