let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
