would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize