we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
