yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
