whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
