he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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