God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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