Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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