then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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