I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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