Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
