Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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