in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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