I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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