Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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