she was so not down for the gang bang
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
