The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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