I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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