This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
