I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
