ugly people sure do ruin things
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
