Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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