I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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