Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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