Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I could fuck to npr.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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